I Was Made For This, and So Were You

I Was Made For This, and So Were You

These past few weeks have been really hard, emotionally and mentally. Besides the "projects” and stuff that I’m doing, I’ve been really stressing about what I’m doing here in San Diego, and also not seeing the momentum that I want to see in my speaking and writing.

I’ve been kind of thinking through my decision to follow my dreams, and man, it’s HARD!

I'm Afraid of Calling My Friends

I'm Afraid of Calling My Friends

I’ll be honest, sometimes I’m afraid of calling my friends. 

I know, it’s a millennial thing. A lot of us only communicate through text and maybe voice chat, but that’s it. 

We don’t really pick up the phone. 

There’s such a vulnerability that has developed over the years from actually calling people.

It’s scary.

Fear Of Being Alone

I’m afraid of being alone.

Right now, I’m processing through my fear of being alone, and I’m trying to understand why I feel this way.

I know that this is one major thing that many people struggle with, especially the young generation. The interesting thing is that there’s never been a time where we were more connected to everyone around us.

But many of us still struggle with loneliness. 

I struggle with loneliness.

I have a deep-rooted fear that in most, if not all, of my relationships, I will no longer be needed. I won't be needed for companionship, for advice or any of my skills. 

Another fear I have is that within teams that I work with, I’ll be replaced. Someone will come along who is better than me and they’ll “take my spot”.

These are my fears.

If I’m being completely transparent, if I’m on a team and someone new comes, I immediately pick them apart to see what could potentially make them better than me. 

Even though this is completely unhealthy, I feel like this is the way that I survive in teams and relationships. As long as I can do more than the weakest link, I’m good.

I know that someone else feels the same way I do, and I honestly wish I had an answer about how to deal with it.

The only thing that I know to do is to process through what I feel, asking myself “Why do you feel that way?”, until I get to the root, or as close to the root as possible.

Every day is battle, but as long as I show up to the fight, I feel like I’ll be okay.

Loneliness is a real feeling, even if you’re surrounded by a lot of people, you can still feel it.

Take heart, and be of good courage. 

You’re okay.

What Your Silence Really Means

When you are silent, it’s okay.

You really care, even if you feel like you don't.

When you sit and listen to someone who's venting or just talking about their problems o or processing through their emotions, you are conveying the message that you care.

There are times where someone close to you wants to talk about what they are going through, and deep inside they just want you to listen.

No advice, no suggestions, just listen.

This can be hard because when we don’t give feedback, sometimes we feel like we’re really not helping. 

Even if the answer is plain as day, and we want to shout it at them, it pails in comparison to the friend calmly sits and listens.

Listening can sound so passive, but it really speaks volumes. 

When you listen and only listen, you are conveying a message to your friend that you truly care about how they feel and what they are going through. 

It’s important that this “non-verbal” message is communicated in your relationships because this is what build trust. 

Yes, sometimes advice can help, but listening opens up YOUR heart to hear what your friend is saying, and creates an opportunity for you to show them empathy.

Listening is a skill that takes a lot of cultivating and discipline. 

When we master our ability to listen, we will be a great friend than we ever thought we could be.

I'm Not Toxic, Am I?

I'm Not Toxic, Am I?

You’re not toxic. But are you Healthy? We can find that our relationships, although not toxic, aren’t healthy either.We may have the ability to physically walk a mile, and for some some it’s super easy, but just because was can do it doesn’t mean that we’re physically healthy. Just because we are in a relationship and it makes it to a certain point or place, doesn’t always mean that the relationship is healthy.