I’m afraid of being alone.
Right now, I’m processing through my fear of being alone, and I’m trying to understand why I feel this way.
I know that this is one major thing that many people struggle with, especially the young generation. The interesting thing is that there’s never been a time where we were more connected to everyone around us.
But many of us still struggle with loneliness.
I struggle with loneliness.
I have a deep-rooted fear that in most, if not all, of my relationships, I will no longer be needed. I won't be needed for companionship, for advice or any of my skills.
Another fear I have is that within teams that I work with, I’ll be replaced. Someone will come along who is better than me and they’ll “take my spot”.
These are my fears.
If I’m being completely transparent, if I’m on a team and someone new comes, I immediately pick them apart to see what could potentially make them better than me.
Even though this is completely unhealthy, I feel like this is the way that I survive in teams and relationships. As long as I can do more than the weakest link, I’m good.
I know that someone else feels the same way I do, and I honestly wish I had an answer about how to deal with it.
The only thing that I know to do is to process through what I feel, asking myself “Why do you feel that way?”, until I get to the root, or as close to the root as possible.
Every day is battle, but as long as I show up to the fight, I feel like I’ll be okay.
Loneliness is a real feeling, even if you’re surrounded by a lot of people, you can still feel it.
Take heart, and be of good courage.